Wednesday, July 1, 2015

July 1/15

Today marks the first day of my vacation ( But I worked at my pt job) and I had a fantastic day there. I worked with some great girls, we were busy and had some great laughs.  I waited on some amazing people, tons of tourists and some regulars. I finished up by 8, then sat at the bar and had a bite to eat, a drink, plus a coworker had made some cake, so I ate that too, along with a cuppa tea.  The added bonus to the day was I was gifted a hoodie from the company who's event I'm taking part in... They showed up for lunch at the restaurant and gave out some freebies... Gotta love it!

It was busy at my Ft job Monday night ( I added some more time to my flex account) and it very quiet Tuesday. The time crept by... I danced my way out the door... LOL

Tomorrow I'm off on a day trip with a friend and her DD to hunt for beach glass... Can't wait, and I'm buying the coffee...

Friday I'll need to get ready to leave, which includes mowing the lawn... Then, up early Saturday morning to give the dogs a quick walk, pack the car, go to the gym, pick up my CSA box and hit the road for PEI.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Canada Day!

Sunday, June 28, 2015

SUnday, June 28/15

I arrived home about an hour ago, after a whirl wind trip to visit my siblings, nephews and to let the dogs meet my sisters new dog.  The dogs got along fine, there was a few times my two stole his toys and growled, but no gnashing of the teeth! We ate, we walked, we played cards, I managed to get to chapter for the first time in 2 or 3 years... I bought 5 books for 32.00. I also managed to get to Costco and bought protein powder, another book and blueberries.   I also picked up our CSA share at our local farmers market yesterday, which made me very happy! I need to take my mother her share later on today.

Work at my Ft job was just a little crazy this week... A few late nights which gave me 2 more hours of flex time to use.. :)

Money wise, things are good, bills are paid, and my fridge and gas tank are full...

I have two days left to work at my FT job, and two shifts at my PT job before I start vacation! On Thursday I'm taking a road trip with a friend and her daughter... We're going hunting for beach glass... It should be fun. Friday will be getting ready to hit the road, and Saturday, let the adventures begin, as I'll be gone to PEI... Which means no blogging for a week... I'm sure I'll have lots to fill you in on!

I hope everyone is having a simple Sunday and the rest of the week is great!

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

So far this week hasn't been dull...

Sunday was father's day... My momma and I had originally planned to go and buy some flowers but the weather was terrible, so I went dress shopping, I have two weddings and an english tea party bridal shower so far to attend to, so I bought two dresses and some new gym clothes, plus a new purse. we then attend a local musical production which was amazing. Such talented people ( and over half have been in my home at one time or another as they're DD's friends).

Monday was busy, I worked at my pt job and then off to my ft job, where it was fairly quiet, so I managed to skip out quickly and attended a girls only work party. I didn't drink, but I showed the young ones that this old girl can still bust a move... They were shocked!  Plus, I had a coworker apologize for something that I was not aware of, but she felt the need to confess. Remember when I got the other job in 2009? Apparently she was very envious and  jealous ( I had no idea).  So she felt the need to make amends. Ok, I said. She had a dream where she confessed a few months ago, and she felt the need to tell me personally. It was rather strange...

Tuesday I worked both places again, and it was super busy at the restaurant.  I made really good money again this day. I was treated to breakfast by DD's best friend and her boyfriend, who then drove me bakc and forth to work, as my car had a flat tire. I took the car to the garage across the street and they fixed it for me. It was a whole 5.00, to have a plug put n the tire.. I drove over a nail... again...

I had two really good work outs so far this week, and tomorrow is up in the air, as I have a DR's appt a 9:30. I may bring my shower stuff to the gym and go from there... Actually that's what I'll do, and I won't feel guilty ....

This weekend I'm headed to visit my siblings... I'll leave here Saturday morning after I get my first CSA box... and I'll make a quick stop at Costco while I'm there ( I need protein powder again...)....

Things are ticking along nicely and I've got one jam packed schedule from now until Thanksgiving... I just wrote that and thought, holy cow... it's going to be a blast this summer.  I'm heading to a concert on the 11th of July instead of coming directly home... It'll be a good time and my mother is going to keep the dogs for the evening...  I hope everyone is having a great week!

Saturday, June 20, 2015

waking up with the birds...

Summer is almost here,  and that means I literally wake up when the birds do. So far this week, I've been up close to an hour before my alarm clock goes off.  I try to go back to sleep, but there's no point, if the sun is up, I'm up.

So yesterday, that meant having a 2 hours nap before work, just to get myself recharged. It was wonderful... and made it easier to get through the evening.

In two weeks time, I'll be loading the car with the dogs and my things and heading off tp PEI. Two weeks... Time really does fly when yu get older. Yikes...

This past week I sat down with the calendar and wrote out everything I have going on this summer. From now until the end of September, I have two weeks that are not booked with work or play... Two...  I have most Sunday's free, which will be a good thing! My summer started last weekend when I got together with a friend from grade 1. We laughed told story and I got to meet her new to me boyfriend. I was so happy for her, as I finally told her about the day she got married to her ex, and I sat in the church praying he would be a no show. ( He did show up and they stayed married for 15 years).

I did a mini road trip Thursday with my cousin/sister ( she's my first cousin, one of my best friends and like a sister). we had a blast. I'm so lucky to have her in my life!

My CSA box starts next weekend. So excited to support a local farm and to continue eating well.

I did make it to the gym 4 times so far this week, and I may go this morning. I haven;t decided 100% yet, but most likely I'll end up going. Although my house needs some attention too... I do have to work at my pt job tonight, so I may take it somewhat easy today...

Moneywise, bills are paid, i have plenty to eat, the dogs are well taken care of, and I have gas in the car, What more could one want? Oh, to be debt free, that is coming!

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and that you enjoy the sunshine where ever you are.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

Over coming fear...

This is not a typical post for me, yet I feel the need to write about it.

It's about fear, and my reality of facing some of my deepest fears. The reality is, for me, that what had me rooted in fear, is not a bad thing, rather it was other peoples insecurities that have affected me over the years.

It's rather ironic ( or perhaps not), that when I started blogging in august 2008, I was just starting to emerge from an eight year long self imposed withdrawal from the world.  It began with three events that took place within 24 hours in April 2000, ,that I allowed to control my life for a long time.  The three major players were humiliation ( I over heard a conversation about me that destroyed my heart), a traumatic event at work that I was unprepared for and wasn't allowed to express my true feelings about , t(his has changed now, thankfully due to the realization that work place trauma needs to be dealt with in a different manner)  and a death in the family.  It all happened so fast, that I didn't allow myself to fully process what happened and so I withdrew, slowly and steadily.   It wasn't noticeable, I slowly disengaged from  people, places, and events. I continued to work, parent to the best of my ability, and exist. Day after day, it was the same things, with little moments of clarity where I knew what was happening was not ok, but I felt both powerless and fearful of seeking any type of help.

This was how I existed for years. I bought a house, mismanaged my money and  continued to gain weight during this time. I was looking for things on the outside to change, but it wasn't happening. In 2006, I started work at my PT job, which began to shed some light on some matters ( but I was still unable to talk about how things affected me, and looking deep inside was horrifying, Keep it down, don't look, you're not ready). I'm not sure what I read in 2007, but slowly things began to change. I started to look into myself and began to accept the shitty things that happened, and to realize that many of the things I didn't like about myself, were things that I could change.  I could slowly start to look at things from a more positive side, and not question so much. Change for this girl is hard, but I found that the more I realized that change was a good thing, the better life was getting. I started reading blogs, and I can remember how much I wanted to begin to write, but I was scared. What if no one read what I had to say? What if people were cruel and mocking? What if I felt like I couldn't write anything? I took the plunge in August 2008, which was terrfiying and exciting at the same time. I did it any how. Since August of 2008, many of you have been reading my ramblings. You've read about my disastrous dates, my money issues, my house issues, life with DD and my family. You've read the funny stories I've posted about the dog ( now x 2), issues at work, and many other things.  You've been there when I switched jobs and went back to my old job. You've been my cheerleaders, my support, my faith in humanity. You, dear reader, have given me the strength and  courage to change, to over come my fears and realize that life is much better on the other side.

My life is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, I still have days where I'm careless with my money ( thankfully those days are few and far between now). You've inspired me to try new things, to be open to new ideas, and more so, to forgive myself when I fail, pick up the pieces and start over.  I've failed at many things, but I now realize that they were not failures, but rather the universe telling me, this is not the path you are meant to take, keep going. 

I am starting to soar now, like an eagle... I truly believe that while I may have fleeting moments of ostrich like behavior, they are few and far between. I've been blessed to reconnect with old friends and make new friends along this journey.  They help guide me, support me, and mostly, accept me for who I truly am, not what they think I should be.

I've learned to speak up and speak out, I've learned that with inner peace comes outer strength.  I've learned that I like to be small and strong, that it's ok for me to be this way, and not to run away from myself. ( That was the lesson I learned this winter).

I've learned to love myself again, to reengage with the world, to know that if I get hurt, I will heal.

I've learned that what I seek in a male companion/partner is a relationship that is built on inspiration. A partner who will inspire me to continue to grow and develop, and who I inspire to do the same. ( I haven't meet him yet, at least not that I'm aware of), but I'm ready.

In a nutshell, I still have fear, but I face it head on now, and smash it into smithereens.

So thank you Dear Readers, for everything that you've helped me with along this wonderful journey into my life!

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

This week so far has been good.

I've managed to get to the gym three times so far, ( tomorrow is out as I'll be opening at my pt job, so I'll be there an hour earlier than normal and pray that I can open the safe first crack).

I've talked on the phone to friends, I've been careful with my money, and I've booked a trip with my momma to go and visit DD for her Birthday in September. My momma's never been to Montreal, so she really just wants to see one of the big Cathedrals. One of my best friends lives there, and we're booking a morning at a spa for massages... Hopefully DD will have at least one day off to spend with us! If not, we'll see her when we can.

I was asked to give a Eulogy for someone, and I accepted. I wrote it in less than an hour, and will fine tune it tonight. I was surprised  initially to be  asked, but quickly realized that it made sense.  I'll be doing it tomorrow afternoon.

I got the best message from a friend this morning, telling me she was pregnant. I cried happy tears, as I know this was something she wished for, but thought she'd never meet anyone. They are three years strong now and a new baby on the way. So excited for them. I'll have to get my mom to knit something for the baby.

I've slept well, ate fairly well, and now I need to shower and get ready for the work day. I hope everyone is having a great week so far.

Monday, June 8, 2015

What's new?

I was a tad bit lazy yesterday and didn't write my usual Sunday post.

Last week had some difficult moments for sure, but it truly has some inspirational ones too! I've had some of the most wonderful conversation with many people over the past week, which I've expressed already and words are not powerful enough to say how thankful I am for them. The most unexpected things can occur when you least expect it, but having the courage to accept what people are offering it truly being blessed. I'm inspired daily.

I worked at my pt job and Saturday night was a bust. The slowest I've seen in months, with too many staff on. I worked 4.5 hours and left with 34 in my pocket. I make more money at lunch than I did that night. Oh well, once in a while it's bound to happen.

I've registered to take a beginners Reiki course in July ( I'm so excited for this), it took a few people in a few days to suggest it to me, and of course to overcome my initial fear to say yes. Within hours of deciding I was ready, I found a course and am all set to go! I'm also going to do a mud runner obstacle course in August... That's another thing to knock off the bucket list! I also made it to the gym 5 times last week...

I've been puttering in the yard, still lots of work to do, but I'm not working at my FT job tonight, I'm taking my momma to an event for the evening. I'll be working at my pt job first, then off to the Chiropractor I go, then home walk the dogs, eat supper and off again.

I'm still smoking too much right now, I feel as it it's the last kick at the can before I become a non-smoker... I'm looking at acupuncture to aid me in my quest.  Who will I be as a non-smoker? I finally have the answer after many years, an athlete, a runner, a healer, among other things.

Money wise, things are good, the bills are paid, and I have enough to do... It's only taken me 45 years to get a grip, but finally things are coming together.

Finally, yesterday I did hte usual changing of the beds and I picked a huge bunch of lilacs for my bed room. The smell of sun kissed sheets and lilacs made for one amazing sleep.

About Me

Who am I said Sam? I am.... a mother, a daughter, a dog owner, a PF